Overbearing woman: femina a la the new century

There is a quiet and peaceful natural blonde, one gets good wife, accurate and reasonable hostess mother. There impulsivnye and daffy brunettes. They head to the hurricane, and their passions can be compared only with the tsunami. There shatenki from blondinok go, but to bryunetkam never came. But there is light at the power of women, women shun. They have a great classic and not write at all, was not in the times of Chekhov. Their problems, and problems with them - creation of the XXI century.

What is she, a strong and overbearing, femina a la the new century? It is high (not inflated to the dramatics, but it is adequately high) self-esteem. She is well aware of their real strengths, and with the event, which is in a critical or simply requiring a rapid response situations, know how to use them. She has excellent intuition and business acumen, she is able to podstroitsya, wait and wait, get yourself in his hands, and then strike. But all of this in business, science, in a word, in the business sphere, but in ordinary life ... loneliness, tears in the pillow and the crazy desire to become another.

She did not hit in the face of the mud

Her character is formed in the five years, it has a leader, beginning in kindergarten. Can make decisions, to answer for their actions, solve problems, to face serious hardship and move forward with dignity. It has been successful in business. But nezadacha with loved ones can not get on with - too demanding, children do not develop relationships - strict and cruelty, no friends - male is not forgiving disposition.

In power, women formed a stereotype, which is the skeleton of her personality:

- No one will do it better than I;

- I have experience in resolving difficult situations, so you do not need advice from outside;

- Who are not with me is against me;

- There are two views: improper for me.

Why is this happening?

First, on its way overbearing lady meets example worthy of emulation. After all, overbearing woman intelligent and will not persuade ourselves that it is better if you can see, indeed, superior her partner, friend or colleague.

Secondly, there beshenoe halt its drive to be better in all schools, institutes, in the service. And to do so in the meantime just. Show that there is an area where her talents will be better, for example, family, or a flower, or a cross embroidery, theoretically it could be anything.

And thirdly, no one put obstacles it vlastnosti and conviction «I should do something better than all» gradually grew into a hypertrophied life principle: «All of us must do the same as me, because I am correct, intelligent, integrated, beautiful and so on », the list can be expanded infinitely. Gradually, the woman's life, attention is turning in full azhur at work and at home in utter nightmare.

Strong woman cries?

We can not say that the strength and power of beatiful girls is not enough fans. Though otbavlyay, but not all of it. Strong women are attracted weak men (remember the fact that opposites attract? So it is pure truth). By the strong women, men dragged lower as a strong women such dislike. Again lukavaya fate podbrasyvaet powerful, intelligent and beautiful two versions of events. They are home or harpy, which leave their husbands, and children are neglected any of their boards (and even reasonable). Or overbearing lady turns into a general in a skirt, tired of battles won, defeated the removal from power and dryahleyuschego in bryuzglivom old alone.

Beware joke responsibility

The main problem of power and clever in that it does not make concessions itself. A simple example: You can ponezhitsya bed in the morning, at plyunuv not vymytuyu the evening dishes, neprigotovlenny breakfast, or something similar, but ... How so? She is responsible, accurate and strong-willed. Since this is nothing and everything starts, and then more. Insulting, you know, if someone does not close the same as you. You do not want to - make! All the first step for the formation of hypertrophied vlastnosti made.

Another pitfall for the intelligent and autonomous: the phrase «worse than I» and the desire potyagatsya men. As a woman should know «three K»: kinder, kuche, kirche (famous formula about the merits of a German woman). No, it does not happen to live so, women's emancipation!

The second step towards becoming a home-made monster, too. And the finishing touch to the portrait sovremennitsy - caring for the children. Careful mom is becoming a svirepogo mentor, who goes from terpenya with Chad's favorite forms of autonomy: «I am for him and he to me ...» Done, dear, you are a classically unhappy, strong, smart and lonely among the closest.

Recipes antivlastnoy therapy

The main part of the recipe - to repeat itself (and preferably more often) «I am not like that». This is the magic words from the change of values and life priorities. Now and forever - you do not have to answer for everything. Smart will not go up the hill. You will have to follow for them and not allow ourselves to fling at ambrazuru.

Start with home affairs, for example, highlight each member of the home team its field activities and not to do their work. In case of a failure in children, husband, parents, play the role of secular ladies who are genuinely perplexed over the incident a misunderstanding, but does not know how to get out of this situation. Your mother quickly bored waiting for the implementation of basic and familiar things. And they call troublemaker to order.

Coming to work, go memories. Remember reprizu Klara Novikova: «This is what we have to be duroy to be intelligent, smart, and what to look duroy!» You are in fact smart, well, that's not berites once for all, do not work for others, live for yourself, your favorite and keep winning smile Smile (forgiven for it, believe me, very much). Do not argue, it is difficult, but the result is worth the efforts. You cease to be a man in a skirt, you will begin to make compliments, and who knows, maybe you will meet the only, the appearance that you least expect in the workplace.

Well, finally. Remember heroine «The Taming of the Shrew»? Now! And let your wisdom vlastnost change compliant, smarmy and smart enslaver, which is seeking his, but quietly, without pressure, and saber-rattling. Believe me, this is a strong women's power over the floor, and everything else illusion created by our cruel century.

Psychotherapy for the "Iron beatiful girl"

Every day, as morning gymnastics, you have to do a simple exercise in front of the mirror. Looking carefully at his reflection, provide a volume of literary salon lady of the XIX century, the modern model or a star of the show program. A bit capricious, just vzbalmoshnoy and manernoy. All day you have to take place in such a manner and behave accordingly. You will see how everything around you will change, as if by magic.

Comment: Anna Gurina, director of the Institute of practical psychology «TERRA»

Generally strong women can be divided into 2 types: «real» and included in the role. The first is unlikely to disturb the status quo, it's a natural habitat for them - power. But the second time they came to assume such a role (perhaps after a divorce, or when you move to a leadership position or, as the saying goes, «because life is»), and at one point was the role of managing behavior zaigravsheysya with power women. The game is like a trap, so it's important to know the enemy in the face and all his tricks and gimmicks. And the enemy, in fact, you yourself, to be exact - your behavior. When it was an opportunity to relax and not do overtime work, and you have persuaded themselves, find the arguments ... there you are, and the first trick. In the upbringing of the child, or communicating with the opposite sex to you is easier to operate from a position of strength, rather than love and care - that's two. Recall a situation where you enter in the role of «strong European glamour Girls», to solve any problem, and try pofantazirovat: but as yet could come to get the best results? Without doubt, this is enormous - to correct the habitual behavior, it is in such situations is to ask for help from a psychologist who can see with you the model «all paints» and to develop an alternative model, the one that will comfortably strong woman from the outside and fragile inside.